The above photo was taken the last time I saw Annelise. She's much bigger now. With more hair.
I have three nieces who are just smart and wonderful and gorgeous. Sadly, I very rarely get to see them, because they live with my sister in Costa Rica. It's just one of those life things...hard, but you make it work somehow.
It's been over a year since I've seen them...Emily does write the occasional review for The Friendly Book Nook, but we're all just so busy...living life, cooking our dinners, going to work, being children. When your family and friends live far away, you have to be very intentional about carving out time to make sure they remember you exist in the middle of all the mundane activities of life.
I've not been great about it. I need to be better. I was thinking about Annelise the other day, that her birthday was coming, and how I'm pretty sure she's completely different from the shy 20 month old I last saw. She is after all, turning 3.
I just felt such sorrow..over all the minutes missed, the hugs that were never shared, the jokes between us that will never be created, the fact that I never once laid eyes on her while she was two years old. The fact that really I'm a stranger to her....this is the stuff of heartbreak.
And yes even as I type this, I'm crying.
There's this song by the 10,000 Maniacs and Natalie Merchant....that captures perfectly the way that I feel. I've put the lyrics below, and here's a link to a video with pictures of some strange child I don't know, but it was the only way I could find to share the melancholy music with you as well.
"My, how you've grown." I remember that phrase from my childhood days too. "Just wait and see." I remember those words and how they chided me, when patient was the hardest thing to be. Because we can't make up for the time that we've lost, I must let these memories provide. No little girl can stop her world to wait for me.
I should have known. At your age, in a string of days the year is gone. But in that space of time, it takes so long. Because we can't make up for the time that we've lost, I must let those memories provide. No little girl can stop her world to wait for me.
Every time we say goodbye you're frozen in my mind as the child that you never will be, you never will be again. I'll never be more to you than a stranger could be.
Every time we say goodbye you're frozen in my mind as a child that you never will be, will be again.