For I've grown a little leaner, grown a little colder, grown a little sadder, grown a little older

I know I haven't been writing here nearly as much as I used to or as much as I'd like, but I still wanted to write and say Merry Christmas.

I feel like every year, despite the fact that I've heard these songs a million times, a new line or bit of a familiar Christmas song will become new to me, or resonate with me in a new way. This year it was "We Need a Little Christmas" I think it could be because I listened to a slowed down version of the song, instead of the usual frantic happy one, and these lines struck me.

They resonate so much.

I don't feel the almost borderline desperation of the song, necessarily, but I get it. Life is something hard and long and sad. And we can't go through life unscathed. We can't stay our fresh young selves full of hope and optimism. These changes are..sometimes they are slow and they are small, but we can feel them at the holidays because the holidays are a constant, a tool we can use to measure ourselves.

Despite the fact that yes, I feel older this year, I feel sadder and heavier in a way I don't think I'll ever lose--Christmas is still Christmas. And all of its beauty is always going to be there. And I'm still thankful.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas friends, I hope you find its beauty today.