Comments on My Friend Amy: What do you do?

I had this situation one time and I really felt pr...

2008-05-13T00:00:00.000-07:00

I had this situation one time and I really felt pressured and used. It was actually on an indian reservation and some people said they ran out of gas and were trying to get to X. I said I didn't have any money so they asked if I would put some gas in their car (I always buy gas with a credit card). I said okay, $1 (this was 4 years ago) and he put the nozzle in the car and then didn't stop. I practically had to yell at him to stop and I just felt totally used. I will NEVER do that again.
That said, when I lived in Seattle I saw the guys standing on the off ramp corners all. the. time. And usually if I had some spare food in my car handy I would give it to them. I never gave money though.
When I was in college I worked with a group called Urban Services that would go into downtown Portland every Friday and help serve a meal on the street to the homeless. This had been going on for so long there were regulars. I got to know a couple of them and what frustrated me the most was that some of them were quite literally choosing to live like this. To have no responsibility and just live off whatever they could. Not my choice for sure, but it also felt again like they were using us by not even trying to be productive members of society.
I guess this is my rant. I never give money to people/causes I don't know, but if I have it handy I will give food.

Very interesting everyone. I think the gas money ...

2008-05-12T22:48:00.000-07:00

Very interesting everyone. I think the gas money thing will happen more and more...I mean ten dollars (which I actually put into the car myself) only bought like two gallons of gas.

Leah, I think it's good to be known for your generosity...though it may bring more beggars. I mean, truly isn't that what it's all about? Being known for that stuff?

R.L., I agree that sometimes by giving we are enabling. in fact, I have some more thoughts on this that got stirred up by these comments that I may post about in the future.

I run across people asking for money all the time....

2008-05-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

I run across people asking for money all the time. Sometimes I give and sometimes I don't. It's funny because when I do give, it's because I heard a distinct voice saying to do so.

When I don't give, I don't feel guilty because I know that alot of people are pulling a scam.

I give when I have it. Somedays I really don't have money on me. I don't think you're obligated to give money to strange people whenever they ask you. If you see that they need food and they ask for food, then give, but if they're asking for money, you just have to follow your first mind.

Sometimes I get really upset when people ask for money. Maybe I shouldn't, I don't know. If it happens someplace not around where I live, I'm fine with it.

Should we try to figure out if the need is real or not? I think the answer is yes. Maybe I'm in the minority.

Living in Costa Rica, we face these situations oft...

2008-05-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

Living in Costa Rica, we face these situations often. I have people come to my house often asking for food. Kind of like Flora's hubby, I keep a stash of dried beans or canned goods ready to give to them. That way I know I'm not giving away something I am going to need for my family later in the week. I don't always succeed in giving with love, however, because no matter when they come, with 3 girls at home, it is always an interruption to what I am doing. I know that if I give without love it is not worth anything. But I also know (and this is why I decided to keep a stash) that even if they are lying to me about why they need the food, I most likely have way more than they do. It is pretty humbling for most people to beg. I never give money. We give our money to church, people we know in need, or organizations. Marco thinks we are "known" around the neighborhood for giving out food, but I'd rather that than err on the side of not giving enough or turning somebody down when they are in need. I have never been approached for gas money, though, and that situation sounds a little more scary. Not sure what I would do there.

One of the things that impressed me about my husba...

2008-05-12T12:16:00.000-07:00

One of the things that impressed me about my husband when we were dating was that he made a point of carrying around Clif bars or granola bars just in case he saw someone asking for money. I thought that was a pretty good plan, but I've never dealt with the "need money for gas" one. I'm a little more jumpy in those situations, though I have passed by people I knew I should have given to. It's easier to give to faceless organizations sometimes. There's that level of separation you don't get with an individual on the street.